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confonz
confonz
Brits act like twits at Intel event
CONFONZ — The Conference Fonzie was certain that Britain was known for its manners. Those beloved British boxing boys are supposed to be well behaved and polite in all social situations, aren't they? Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to apply to imported Limey tech journalists. To their credit, Intel's international press day, a preface to the Intel Developer Forum at San Francisco's Moscone Center later this week, is a somewhat dull event. More »
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A tale of two conferences
CONFONZ — Last week saw two ubernerdy conferences for customers of two big software companies in San Francisco. BEA's conference at Moscone West was completely fucking empty. There were a handful of people on each floor, all looking around wondering why there was no one nearby with which to press the flesh. VMware's conference, at Moscone North and South, by contrast, was hopping. With a massive Treasure Island party and no expense spared on the food and conference bag, VMware sucked in the dollars and attention, while BEA sat unloved across the street, with nary a surly teamster to defend it. Hmmm, what's going on here? More »
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We're from Yahoo, and we're here to help
Please welcome back the ConFonz, our secret correspondent from the world of conferences. — Ed.CONFONZ — One of the nicest parts about being the Conference Fonzerelli is overhearing the amazing stories told in-between roundtables and plenary sessions. They're rarely newsworthy, but such tales often portend just how utterly fucked a company or entity really is. Take this doozy about Yahoo and its attempts to do something good for the world. More »
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Outcast's CEO Dinner Full of Hired Geeks
CONFONZ — To be perfectly honest, Terra, just underneath the Bay bridge, is becomign the go-to spot for any and all PR firms to hold events for their clients. Unfortunately, this means that your humble narrator, the Conference Fonzerelli, has had some of his weaker moments in front of the wait-staff therein. Fortunately, they're a tight lipped bunch, and they didn't out the Fonz for who he really is at last night's Outcast PR CEO dinner. After the jump, we detail the high ratio of Press-to-CEO's, and dish some dirt on the WSJ. More »
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The ConFonz Goes to College
CONFONZ — Lo, and below him, he saw the valley. Above him he saw the smog filled skies, and in his hand he found a broken bottle of bourbon, half drained and bloodied. Where had this bottle come from, and why was the humble Conference Fonzerelli stumbling around on Microsoft's Mountain View campus? And, for the love of Allah, why are all the urinals here one foot off the ground? Is this Paris? Japan? Does Microsoft employ lots of little men? Yes, gentle reader, the ConFonz is in charge of Valleywag today, and the fun has only just started. After the jump, the ConFonz goes to college.More »
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ConFonz at RSA
Hold on to your hats — we hear Bill Gates was boring as the keynote speaker for the info-security RSA Conference, ongoing at Moscone Center. Fortunately, Conference Fonzerelli is on hand, much to his personal regret. The ConFonz quoth:The fabulous and sexy Conference Fonzerelli has trouble avoiding parties. Even when he stopped to retch up the last of his peyote buttons into an alley off second street, he found himself standing outside of the PingIdentity party.Read on for partially redemptive Microsoft pull quote. More »
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ConFonz At Oracle OpenWorld
You're all expecting some sort of expletive-encrusted fecal-festival gracing gooey herein html. Bully bullocks are always zipping zazzily towards you fucking alphabetical heads. More »
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ConFonz at Office 2.0: Everybody gets a Nano!
Heyyyyy, ConFonz! Valleywag's go-to man for conferences smells Oprah-style freebies at Office 2.0. More »
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ConFonz at the Intel Developer Forum
This week, the Conference Fonzie reports from the Intel Developer Forum at SF's Moscone Center. Dig in! More »
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ConFonz at BEA World: Warning: obscene muppet reference
ConFonz returns with yet another conference report. This time he reports from the BEA Systems enterprise software conference at San Francisco's Moscone Center. More »
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ConFonz runs from the Wooly Debianoid herd at LinuxWorld
The Conference Fonzie is still at LinuxWorld, this time sending in his longest report yet. Like a North Atlantic iceberg, most of this one is under the horizon; hit the post title to see it all. More »
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ConFonz rides the penguin at LinuxWorld
Valleywag correspondent ConFonz reports today from the world's most graybeard-saturated convention. LinuxWorld is like Disney World without the trauma of seeing an on-break Goofy holding his own head. More »
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ConFonz dons his black hat
Valleywag correspondent ConFonz raced out of Silicon Valley to hang at DefCon, the daddy of all hacker conventions. Here's his report, grisly as a post-mescaline Hunter S. Thompson piece. More »
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The ConFonz Attends the Semicolon Conference
Valleywag's conference correspondent, the ConFonz, is slowly turning his column here into Fear and Loathing in San Jose. Enjoy. More »
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ConFonz [CENSORED]s a [CENSORED] up the [CENSORED]
Valleywag abhors censorship. But it also abhors looking like a [CENSORED] that just [CENSORED]ed two double-D [CENSORED]s. The latest Conference Fonzie report belongs on "The Aristocrats" more than it does on this blog, so enjoy ConFonz's, erm, colorful metaphors as he describes the MI6 Conference. More »
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Aaayyy, ConFonz! Valleywag's best-groomed correspondent finds the dance floor and stays remarkably un-potty-mouthed at the IEEE Microwave Something-or-Other Con.
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ConFonz at the IEEE Microwave Thingie at the Moscone
Aaayyy, ConFonz! Valleywag's best-groomed correspondent finds the dance floor and stays remarkably un-potty-mouthed at the IEEE Microwave Something-or-Other Con.
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ConFonz, is nursing a SloshCon hangover — "Aaaay, I'm up and moving!" — but even a morning migraine can't stop Valleywag's favorite correspondent from reporting.
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Sperm-proof screens: ConFonz hits the Society for Information Display
ConFonz, is nursing a SloshCon hangover — "Aaaay, I'm up and moving!" — but even a morning migraine can't stop Valleywag's favorite correspondent from reporting.
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